...and then i started hating home

...because everything has changed.

I usually anticipate going home from school everyday, having weekend get togethers with my classmates, resting and sleeping in my room.  Home is like my refuge from all the stress of the outside world. I don't know what went wrong, i didn't even noticed the transition till i was there... i started hating home.

Since my father had a mild stroke, and my mother went back home from Singapore, i never really had an actual sleep-sleep, the kind of sleep i do everyday before the "big bang" (pertaining to this high intensity i-don't-know-what-problem-i-am-in-thing). You know, as a college student i am often just concerned with what i will wear the next wash day, or when will i get my allowance for the following week, or even what will i buy with my extra money, but now, i can't even think of riding a tricycle on my way to school just to save money. I AM NOT USED TO THIS. This kind of living that is full of tension. If I have a weak personality, i probably have committed suicide by now, with these drastic changes in my lifestyle, i don't know how long will i still keep up.

I just hate being at home. It doesn't even feel like a home, this is just a house...
All i want is for this weekend to pass and to be able to go to school again, where all my concern will be the time for my next subject or the lunch i will eat, or where will i sit down during my free time.

Call me weak, i don't care.

Maybe I am a conservativist, i hate drastic changes specially if it involves my lifestyle.